I’m not a morning person. At all. Not even a little bit. Some mom’s may laugh at this (or claim I’m a terrible mother), but I have my daughter trained that she’s not getting up before 8 o’clock. No joke. I think she’s gotten so used to it, it’s not uncommon for her to stir around 7ish (not cry mind you, but you can tell she is awake) and then zonk out until after 9. I know…be jealous but also be aware that she is still in a crib and can’t open her door yet.
This morning (and the past several mornings for that matter), I have woken up in my normal rotation of 3rd trimester wakefulness (basically waking up every hour or so for one reason or another), and have found myself not just awake but really awake. You know the difference: one you happen to kind of open your eyes but not really, the other you can actually get up and function. It has coincided with my husband’s getting up at 4-430 to get into work the overtime he has needed to put in the last month, so while it is understandable that I would wake up when he gets up, it doesn’t make sense that I would truly wake up at that ridiculous time. And yet, here I am. I have been awake since 4:30, got up at 5 or so because I was hungry (don’t make fun of me, I’m 9 months pregnant this Saturday. Hungry is a state of being.) and now at 6:30 I have read my Bible, 2 separate blogs, meandered around both Facebook and Twitter, finished my notes for the next chapter of some curriculum I’m writing (or rather putting off writing), even put away all the dishes, and now here I am. It’s weird.
That being said, I do feel productive. Tired, but productive and the sun isn’t even up yet. But it occurs to me that this may become a semi-regular occurrence very soon. I will obviously be getting up every 3 hours for the next several months, but to actually look at these awkward hours as an opportunity is something I had not anticipated.
The goal–get some writing done, take time to truly listen to God, and allow him to re-direct my seemingly wandering dreams.
The writing is pretty self explanatory. Basically, I need to put more time into it if I hope to get anything out of it.
The second is something that I find I go through phases of. I’ve gotten better at spending time in the word daily but to really take the time to hear what God is saying (even in books like 2 Kings, which is where I currently find myself) is something that I need to improve. I recently watched a video of The Skit Guys on prayer and found myself convicted every time I’m praying as I’m lying down and falling asleep. I take time to pray, to thank God for what he has given me and praise him for who he is, but it’s still a mostly one-sided conversation.
This isn’t a constant problem, but it is something I fall into when I’m tired or worn out.
(I’ve included the video for you. It’s kinda long (16 min), but a really good one so check it out. The Way We Pray but the Skit Guys)
The third is a little more complicated. If you were ask me what my dream job would be, I would answer an author and speaker. I don’t feel I am proficient at either to be able make a career of it but it is a dream that I seek to improve myself toward. With that in mind, I have tried to find “jobs” that will better equip and train me in areas that will help me feel better prepared to step into this dream one day. The challenge is that I may need to put all of this on the back-burner for a couple years while I raise my girls. It’s hard to balance what feels like two conflicting dreams. One of being a wife and mother and the other of a career teaching and leading people to see the truths of God. I know there is a way for them to coincide, I just don’t know when that is or how it is done.
I guess I’ll have plenty of time to hear God speak in the coming months, but I still have to go on record of saying that I don’t think anyone should have to get up before the sun does. Just saying.