When I was in elementary school, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. It’s a pretty typical question to ask little kids and can spark a multitude of dreams and/or laughter depending on the response. I said I wanted to be a mom. It was something I have always imagined being wonderful and self fulfilling. I wanted to stay home with my children as they grew and devote every moment to them.
I’m now 3 1/2 years into this mom thing and I can tell you a couple things I’ve learned in that short amount of time:
1. It is wonderful. One of the most amazing things I have ever had the privilege of doing in fact. Hearing my daughter say” I love you Momma” is humbling beyond belief. I’m awestruck at the little people that I gave birth to and the absolutely incredible feats that they are already accomplishing.
2. Speaking of humbling…motherhood is the hardest job I have ever had. And I’ve worked at a rental car agency and had to tell people that the insurance was no longer paying for their rental car even though their car wasn’t fixed and it wasn’t their fault to begin with…it trumps that by a long shot. There are days that I sit down on the couch after both of my daughters are in bed (neither one asleep however), and wonder what on earth we did all day. Did they actually eat a meal or was it just snacks? How is it possible to be this tired?! Then one (or both) start crying and I realize that I’m not getting the night off.
And this is with being incredibly blessed to have an active and involved husband who does help me with the girls after coming home from a 9-10 hour day at work.
The benefits definitely outweigh the challenges, but there are some days that I feel like I am the worst mother on the face of the earth. I feel like a failure and I long for the days when I will be able to go into an office and talk to adults like a “normal” human being. And if you are a mom and ever feel this way, I want to tell you that you’re not alone and no, it does not make you a “bad” mother. It makes you human. You aren’t failing at motherhood.
Children want to be loved and we as moms can do that, no matter how dirty our floors are or how few vegetables we get our kids to eat. If you love your children and you are doing your very best, then the likelihood is that you are a great Momma. I want you to hear that again–You are a great Momma.
Believe it for yourself and allow yourself to accept that we are going to yell at our kids when we shouldn’t. We’re going to “lose it” when it’s the least convenient time possible. We’re going to have messy houses, cars, clothes, hair, and faces. We’re going to feel like we give and give and give until we are so past empty and wonder why on earth we signed up for this. But then we’ll get a hug or a slobbery kiss. We’re going to hear those precious words, “I love you Mommy.” And then you remember. It’s so worth it. Every second of insanity is worth those precious moments with our blessings. Every tear cried in frustration (at the children or yourself) is worth it to hear them laugh and play with pure joy found in their innocence.
It’s worth it and you are a great Momma.
So to all of the incredible Mommy’s out there (and Grandmothers or Nanas or Mimis or whatever name you use):
Happy Mother’s Day. We love you and are so grateful for all that you give each and every day.